You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize