i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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