if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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