Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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