also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
