Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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