so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
