My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
