so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
