I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
