I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
