I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
