I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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