Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize