someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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