she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize