i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
