dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
