He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
