I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
