I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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