Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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