they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
