Sponge bath it is.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
