so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
