Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
