sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So much rum. So many feels.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
