i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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