Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
