I'm eating all of the evidence.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
