he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize