yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
