It's just like the Real World with babies
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
