Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
