he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
