Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
i've created a new STD.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize