That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
