So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
