dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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