Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Randomize
