what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I've blown a few things in my day
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
