I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
whose ass print is on the piano?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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