It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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