I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Bring me that man meat
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
