just tell him i said nine months
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
