wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
