Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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