Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
