If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it ðŸ˜
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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