Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
