Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize