office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
