she kept yelling 'call me bella'
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize