I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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