Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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