why didn't you poke me back
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
