so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Farmville is her only friend.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize