we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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