Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
