Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
