Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
