I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
