remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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