its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
