Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Randomize