There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
