I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm just crazy horny about you
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
