Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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