He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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